All I can say about yesterday is, what a nightmare. I am slightly getting over it...though I know I ruined the night. It was unbelievable, a catastrophe, and it really makes me think...WHAT AM DOING? Earlier that day my brother was telling me how great it was that I was doing everything on my own, and how proud he was of me. "You've come a long way"...his words. but i beg to differ.
There is nothing that I can do to change last night, but to just let it be.. I'm not really depressed, but I am extremely ashamed of myself. I've done this before, about 2 years ago. I've lost many friends because of it, so I don't know why i keep on doing it. yes, Alcohol, I cannot control it. It's sad. I'm at a loss for words because I cannot even explain how horrible this humiliation feels. I take this as a warning to myself, I don't want history to repeat itself anymore. I need to honestly Let Go of Everything. I can't let that get to me.
Tonight, all of my workers are hanging out at our NCOs house to watch the fight. I choose not to go because I do not want to put myself in another situation like last night. I know myself, and I do not have the self control that I wish i have, YET. I'm going to change that, but it's going to take time. "Creation comes when you learn to say NO" -M.
So tonight, I will lay low, and probably go rollerblading with my friends for a bit. I'm still a bit embarrassed, but I need to fuh-get about it, and GET UP AND GO.
I'm glad my friends have spoken to me about the situation, so maybe this time i should do things a little more differently. Not like i did in 2006.
but either way, i have some pictures from the BBQ for the two gentlemen that passed away in Iraq a year ago.
R.I.P. Rojas and Oglesby, I never met you guys, but there are plenty of soldiers here who truly miss you!
There is nothing that I can do to change last night, but to just let it be.. I'm not really depressed, but I am extremely ashamed of myself. I've done this before, about 2 years ago. I've lost many friends because of it, so I don't know why i keep on doing it. yes, Alcohol, I cannot control it. It's sad. I'm at a loss for words because I cannot even explain how horrible this humiliation feels. I take this as a warning to myself, I don't want history to repeat itself anymore. I need to honestly Let Go of Everything. I can't let that get to me.
Tonight, all of my workers are hanging out at our NCOs house to watch the fight. I choose not to go because I do not want to put myself in another situation like last night. I know myself, and I do not have the self control that I wish i have, YET. I'm going to change that, but it's going to take time. "Creation comes when you learn to say NO" -M.
So tonight, I will lay low, and probably go rollerblading with my friends for a bit. I'm still a bit embarrassed, but I need to fuh-get about it, and GET UP AND GO.
I'm glad my friends have spoken to me about the situation, so maybe this time i should do things a little more differently. Not like i did in 2006.
but either way, i have some pictures from the BBQ for the two gentlemen that passed away in Iraq a year ago.
R.I.P. Rojas and Oglesby, I never met you guys, but there are plenty of soldiers here who truly miss you!
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