Anxiety to the MAX

Well..It's been quite a weekend. DRUNK, fun, anxious. and Gay drama for your mama.

I cant stand gay boys sometimes. I went to my friends' house party in Seattle on Saturday, and was extremely shocked at some dudes behavior towards me. I dont understand insecure, jealous motherfuckers sometimes. If you know what you got, why are you going to trip when somebody talks to your man? Shit, I am one of the nicest people I know, and people always seem to confuse it for flirting. I dont flirt, thats not my style. I like to speak to people and hear them out. I love making small talk and planning next weeks event, Not really into the whole "can i get ya number" talk. Its lame and I just want to be friends, okay? Anyway i felt uncomfortable after that and then some other gay bitch there tried to fuck with me. Ive been having such a shitty week that I had no energy to even bother with the asshole. But like my boy Ken says, Boys will hate just to hate, C'mon youre gay YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS!" I really dont hang around negative people so its kinda new to me. Im not sure if the military made me softer because if that were me 2 years ago, it would be on. I guess ive learned to tolerate peoples stupidity quite well. Plus, I am not one to make a scene at these little parties...ANYMORE. =]

Anyway on top of this, I keep reading up on things about my problem, and I am still hopeful. Praying that im going to be okay. I really do hope so. A cute boy like me cant be sick right? My throat is killing me from smoking so much this weekend, I do need to stop. I was going to start smoking again to help me read better, lame I know but hey it kept me up many times before! Im anxious more than ever to get my results back. I know I should be okay I just cant instill the thought in my head that something might be wrong with me. Other than that, I also find out if I have high blood pressure tomorrow. Its like, what else can go wrong right now? Im so stressed out, I need to get myself together!!!!!!!!!!!